A man who hits you once will hit you twice.
And then a third time.
Even if he begs and pleads, “I don’t know what came over me” or “I promise this will never happen again.”
Even if he shifts the blame to you with, “You made me do this.”
He WILL hit you again. Or maybe throw you around a bit.
He’ll appear charming to everyone else so they never suspect a thing. He’ll verbally rip you to shreds when you’re alone, and if he’s especially cruel, he’ll do it in public and then proclaim, “Hey, I was joking.”
You will soon find yourself alone because he has managed to isolate you from family and friends. You will come to believe that you don’t deserve any better, or you’ll willingly climb on the rollercoaster relationship with extreme highs and devastating lows.
Sure, he’s cruel, but he can be so amazingly sweet when he apologizes. He’ll treat you like a queen and perform acts of penance to show you how much he really loves you. And then he’ll do it again.
How do I know?
I lived it.
I left after the second round of blows.
He was good looking and had lots of friends. Other men respected him, and other women wanted to be with him. He was incredibly smart and was on his way to building a very successful career.
I felt lucky to be with him.
I now feel lucky to be away from him.
Domestic abuse can happen to anyone, and it’s not limited to grown women. Violence and abuse happen to teenage girls. And elderly women. And men.
Never give an abuser a second chance.
Because if it happens once, it will happen again.
You deserve better, my sister.
Love yourself and let your wounds heal.
*My abusive happened many years ago. Healing took a long time, but I have been blessed with a husband who loves me more than himself and would wrestle a grizzly bear for me and our children.