What “This is Us” taught me about my parenting and teens
Jack and Rebecca Pearson taught me a valuable lesson about parenting. Thanks to NBC’s “This is Us,” I have learned that no matter what my husband and I do, our children are going to have […]
parenting
How to choose the best punishment for your child’s B in math
A mom in Frisco, Texas recently took to social media asking for punishment suggestions for her second-grade daughter. The little girl earned a B in math, and Mom “didn’t want to send the message that […]
Teach your children the truth about the terrorism in (insert location here)
They were too young to really understand what September 11 meant to the western world. They have no memories of watching hijacked passenger planes crash into the Twin Towers and Pentagon, nor do they have […]
I want to quit being a mom
I have a confession. I have no idea what I’m doing with this whole parenting thing, and whatever I’m doing doesn’t seem to be working right now. I want to quit being a mom. There […]
Happy Scene: Mom describes the plot of “The Matrix”
Sci-Fi Deficit Syndrome often has hilarious consequences. Watch what happens when this mom describes the plot of “The Matrix” to her adult son. Get the newest posts from Roadkill Goldfish delivered straight to your […]
Happy Scene: Dad videos three months of music torture
Annoying Top 40 songs. Every Saturday morning. With an energetic little girl. What could go wrong? Check out this dad who recorded the parental torture he endured for three months at the hands of a […]
Happy scene: Check out what happens when we let kids script movies
This post is dedicated to every parent who has ever spent two consecutive hours playing “Barbie Goes to the Ball, But the Prince Doesn’t Like Her Dress” or “GI Joe in Cowboy Gear Versus the […]
Please record your children’s responses to standardized tests!
The standardized testing season is officially upon us. Despite all the protests,opt-outs and horror stories, many of our government leaders still think standardized test overuse and abuse is okay. Our written words have had little […]
I’ve got my puberty going on
Puberty sucks for both parents and adolescents. It’s a clumsy and hormonally-psychotic rite of passage that makes parents pine for toddler tantrums and makes teens look forward to the day they can put their dreadfully […]
Have you heard too much of the “Frozen” soundtrack?
More proof that Disney music impairs cognitive function in healthy adults. Watch the kid’s reaction.
I want nothing less than imperfect from you
I know it’s hard to be a kid today, and I awkwardly discovered I may be part of the problem. Before you get too smug, understand the problem is not the rules you have to […]
U.S. parents relieved that spoiled teen’s lawsuit against Mom and Dad got a judicial spanking
Consider this a long overdue spanking for Rachel Canning and her lawyers. In an unbelievable case of “Oh no she didn’t,” Canning, an 18-year-old New Jersey cheerleader with a whole slew of respect and behavior […]
My youngest’s behavior leads to a “Come to Jesus Meeting”
I had a “come to Jesus meeting” with our youngest last weekend. For those of you unfamiliar with Southern idioms, the phrase denotes a get-together between two or more people where a candid and somewhat […]
Angry “Dear Daughter” comment from 13-year-old girl has me worried
I received a lot of comments on my “Dear Daughter, Let Miley Cyrus be a Lesson to You post, but none of them could have prepared me for what came through this evening. A comment from […]
My 10-year-old thinks he deserves $43.75 an hour; I think I messed up
My son was about to bankrupt the family. Two weeks ago, his teacher gave each child a “Home Responsibility Job Application” that listed a variety of jobs that needed to be done in a household. […]
Dear daughter, let Miley Cyrus be a lesson to you
Dear daughter, let Miley Cyrus be a lesson to you. Yes, this is what happens when you constantly hear everything you do is awesome. This is what happens when people fawn over your every […]
5 ways media have got motherhood all wrong
A warning to Kay Jewelers: My husband would have his butt kicked if he ever gave me jewelry for Mother’s Day. I’ve been anti-frivolous-gift ever since I grasped the whole “your money is my money” […]
Stupid stuff my children have forced me to say out loud
I used to be smart. I’m talking “destroy the curve in school” kind of smart and the “I’ll take Societal Unrest in Medieval Europe for $500, Alex” kind of smart. That ended when my husband […]