I have a hard time making friends.
Especially with women.
Women scare me.
I tuned out of the whole estrogen-bonding thing back in high school when I realized dealing with girls involved way too much drama. Nonetheless, I felt like something was missing from my life when I saw other girls whispering, giggling and doing each other’s hair.
I tried again in college when sororities promised my goal of lifelong sisterhood, but I lasted just a few semesters before I realized I was actually PAYING to participate in girl-drama-on-steroids. So I tried being a feminist because they claimed sisterhood was a natural thing, but that didn’t work out, either.
So I lived my life with a few female friends here and there, but my closest friends were always male.
I could get angry, but they wouldn’t rush off to tell others about what a b-tch I was.
We could have discussions and debates about heavy topics, and no one would break down in tears.
We could watch and appreciate Monty Python movies.
They could tell me a guy was no good for me, and as an extra special bonus, they wouldn’t date him after we broke up.
I have never been able to do that with female friends.
One More Try for Female Friends
I’m going to try this female friendship thing one more time.
In just three hours.
And I am freaking out.
Every year of my adult life, I have resolved to tackle one fear that has reduced my ability to really enjoy life. This year’s fear is other women, and to fight it, I am going to a women’s retreat organized by my church.
Yeah, I know. I’m jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire with this one.
Wanna know what my main fear is?
I’m worried they’ll judge me because I use words like “crap.”
I’m worried they won’t be my friends.
And then I’ll have to start some drama.